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Finland, March 2, 1999

Prince Valium

Mmmmm! Never refuse Prince Valiant!

March 2, 1999, Helsinki, Finland


Wow, Valium is fun! I'm here in pre-op, with my knee shaved, ass hanging out of the gown, floating along with Prince Valiant making my mind float along. Hmmm, kinda feels like I'm stoned, but without the munchies or dry mouth I am used to. Warm and fuzzy all over, and having fun typing too! Forgive me if my logic isn't all there, I'm sure not here!

I remember this movie I saw once, not sure the name, but this girl is telling someone (friend I think) that Mom is sleeping with Prince Valiant that night, and in the background, Mom is passed out on the bed. I always wondered what Valium was like since that scene. Did it make you drowsy, knock you out, or what? Now I see what is does and I kinda like it. I can see this drug as a good way to numb the mind and relax the body after a long day in the CEO slot or being a wife to one.

Yeah, I think I do like this drug. No full bladder or room spinning problems that comes with booze. No paranoia that comes with pot. Just a fuzziness on the edges. Only one problem in this situation.

As I will be under the influence of a depressant (that's what Valium is, right?), how can I be expected to be of clear mind and body when I am asked serious questions in the operation, like "do you want us to amputated above or below the knee?" Or, "Which knee is it again?"

Bummer, I'm in Finland! I would love to do this in the states so I could crack jokes a mile a minute and have everyone in stitches (get the pun?!), but none the less, thanks for reading my banter.

I was looking trough the musical collection I brought with me and I was confused as to what I should listen to all doped up. I'm bumming I didn't bring Marley. He would add to this mood so well. Oh, and I'd like to apologize for not having a grater interest in the techno music you were gonna show me sat night. I was interested, but just multi-tasking, or as this month's Wired says, I was backgrounding you. Rude of me.

Owi! Here is my favorite "Russian" song, the Rasputin song by Boney M! "Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine."

Matt, do you think we will keep in touch when I go on my travels and you head back to USA? I sometimes think that our friendship with downgrade a lot when we spit, and it makes me sad. Do you write? I know you are not the Hallmark-card-shallow kinda guy, but I'm scared that our correspondence will disintegrate into a page length email ever so often. Bummer.

The loss of intimacy with people I enjoy is the hardest part of being a wanderer. It's not hard for me to make casual friends, but it is hard for me to open up to anyone as a close friend. I know that we haven't shared all that much in the great scheme of secrets and experiences, but I've been more honest and open with you that pretty much anyone else in Moscow. Ok, so Ann and I bonded more, but I didn't live with you for a year, and as a woman, we experienced each other more that you and I would ever want to. Damn, I miss Ann!

I love the way you are so direct in you manners. I wish I could have such openness. I love it when you tell me, straight up, that I made you feel slighted when I didn't have 100% interest in the CD you wanted to show me.


Oooo, here come the nurses!

Finland, March 1, 1999

Blanket of White

Some wild days are spent in a white daze A slow way to go There goes the sun Pre-Injury Knee Tricks The whiteness is amazing. All I can see out of the train window is snow. I'm on my way to Helsinki (again), and I'm using the electrical outlets in...

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