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America, March 29, 2004

Masters Murphy of Pinewood Derby

So fast not even SpongeBob or No 2 Pencil can catch them.

they're here!
Here they come!
they're there!
There they go!
Matt, Sam, Peter, Scoutmaster
The Masters Murphy
It is a humble house, there on Wakefield Drive, a house you would not think could be the home of a dynasty. It's a simple dwelling, not much more than its neighbors, and so you'll pass it without knowing its magic. No, most don't and until this past weekend, neither did I.

That is all changed now. Changed as its secret is out. See that little house on Wakefield Drive is home to the Masters Murphy. The Masters Murphy who are feared and respected. The Masters Murphy who dominate and congratulate. The Masters Murphy of Troop 54 Pinewood Derby.

And Masters they are. First there is Power Forward Peter, with his silver rocket of speed. After eliminating his competition in 2003, and going all the way to the Montgomery County Finals, he returned this year confident to command the Webelo Division again.

Then there is Speed Demon Sam, with his mighty metal racer. Speed Demon Sam who decimated the Cub Scout Division in 2003, with only his brother to keep him from the Montgomery County Finals. Ready to trounce all easily to face his only real peer: his brother.

Last there is Mash the Gas Matt, with his red rocket sock-it. Commanding his prodigy, he stands back from the commotion, knowing that his own Masters Division entry with its Black Cat Booster is the envy of man and boy alike.

And the air hangs thick with envy. Envy of this threesome, with their speed, their weight, their friction-less marvels. Envy that becomes palatable as history repeats itself. With a mighty 3, 2, 1 countdown, each Masters Murphy entry jumps form the starting gate, zips down the ramp, scoots along the straightaway, and slams into the winner's circle.

There is no hope, no prayer, no dream that can change history. That can stop the Masters Murphy in this, their prime: the Troop 54 Pinewood Derby. They zoom to first place, in Webelo, in Cub Scout, in Masters. Then, when pitted against all cars, they win again.

They win till there are only three left. Three Masters Murphy to face each other in a dynastic duel of instant elimination. There they are, three Masters Murphy at the start gate. We hear the call: 3, 2, 1! Down the ramp they go. Its close, its not, it is again!

With the Webelos scared to leave Mom. With the Cub Scouts fearful to leave Dad. With the Masters Murphy in full confidence, their proxies fight for the finish. First is Speed Demon Sam, second is Power Forward Peter, and third is Mash the Gas Matt.

The Masters Murphy win yet another race, rule yet another year, and return yet again to that humble house on Wakefield Drive, Masters of Troop 54 Pinewood Derby.

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