Tanzania, February 18, 2003
Serengeti Simba Sex Rocks!
|Okay guys, here's a new way to enjoy the pleasure of a woman. A way that I hope to explore at the earliest opportunity: Simba Sex, Serengeti Style.
First, you separate a lioness from the pride, then lead her over to a roadside, preferably one where hordes of tourist mini-buses can get a good view of the action. Then, you initiate the festivities with a little growling foreplay. Do not fret, for that takes all of three seconds before she positions herself and you mount her from behind.
Then, go to town like a madman, working her nonstop for the next fifteen seconds. As you near your climax, start to roar and then, when you are almost there, bite her neck so she can't escape as you do the money shot and she roars in pleasure (or pain).
Once you're done, quickly jump back before she can nip you as she turns then rolls onto her back in a look of contentment. Next, stand around panting, checking to see if the tourists got a good shot of the fun before you lay down for a nap.
Now you get to rest for fifteen minutes before you have to repeat the whole process, as she'll wake you with growling if you tarry. Oh, and you have to keep up the iterations for the next fifteen hours, non-stop, if you hope to keep yourself as the alpha-male of the pride, or at least the alpha-male for your girlfriend/wife.
Now get to work on that roar!