Russia, July 15, 1999
Soviet Swimming
A country of lakes & rivers, and Russians can't swim
15 July, 1999Going Swimming
By Nick
Everything here is the same. No new crisis's, plenty of food and very few terrorist bombings. The weather is extremely hot and probably set a heat record. Many people drowned each weekend in Moscow trying to get out of the heat. I think they averaged 20 people a weekend for the four weeks of intense heat. It appears that most Russian children do not get formal swimming training and then when they become adults, get drunk and eat a big meal they like to do swimming. Well as you can guess this does not make for good swimming. Fortunately, I did not know anyone who drowned.
I had a funny experience the other day. In order to escape the heat I got real drunk, ate a lot of food and then wanted to go swimming (joke). So I went to this swimming pool and asked if I could buy a ticket. They told me where the cashier was. I asked the cashier and see wanted to see my "doctor's permission slip". I of course did not have one. So I was told that I would have to go to the doctor and one happened to be in the building. (Nice coincidence, huh?)
After arriving at the doctor's I was told to pay $1. I took the money out of my pocket but the doctor refused to take it. They said I had to go back to the cashier and pay. I travelled back to the cashier and wanted to pay the $1 but the cashier said there was a special cashier for the doctor. (Starting to get an idea of the Soviet system?) I finally found the doctor, paid my $1 and went back to the doctor. When I arrived there was a line to be seen by the doctor. Everyone in line, all Russians of course, thought the system was stupid but the doctors and pool thought it was normal.
After 20-30 in line the doctor saw me. The doctor asked me to show her my legs (to see if they were dirty) and then she listened to my heart (to see if it worked). She decided that everything was okay and she wrote me a permission slip. I know that I only paid $1 but after standing in that line I thought she would at least check me for a hernia. No such luck. I took my permission slip to the cashier, got a ticket and went swimming. If it were not for the fact that most of the women were topless at the pool (nice surprise) then the experience would not have been worth it. Well I guess you have to get your pleasures were you can.