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America, June 11, 2004

Will Gmail Change Your Life?

While I stand in line at 6am I sure hope so!

good start, eh?
Before Gmail
Ladies, there's enough to share
After Gmail
Now if you wander over to eBay and check out the auction scene, you'd think that Gmail was a secret elixir for eternal life the way its being snatched up. Over 2,500 invites are for sale, and going quickly at $15-25 per pop.

Gmail, if you don't know, is Google's new web email service that offers an amazing 1000 MB of storage. That's enough space never to need to delete an email, even spam, for life. Not bad for what is now a free invite-only service.

Wanting my own account, and being too broke for eBay, I took a different route for my new Gmail account. I went to Gmail Swap and thought up interesting things to trade for one of the coveted spots.

First I thought about giving up my Santa Claus Pi�ata for a Gmail account, but my catchy ad didn't snag a single taker. I guess Santa Claus Pi�atas are not for everyone.

Changing tactics, I went for a very Washingtonian offer: standing in line for Capitol Building tour tickets which did get a response. One that will have me standing in line outside the Capitol Building at 6am on July 1.

Flush with success, I went political and scored a Gmail account for a friend of mine in a record one-minute flat. (Note the time between post & reply) I also started a thread that quickly filled up my inbox with so much chatter I had to threaten posters with spam to kill the thread.

Today, after playing around a bit with my brand new account, I see that I now have an invite to share. An invite that I'd like to give to someone worthy, someone in need, someone who reads this humble website. So here it goes:

Wayan's Gmail Invite Give-Away Contest

I'm gonna give my Gmail invitation to the most deserving person who can tell me, in 200 words or less posted to this page in the comments section below, why I should hand over my precious invite.

Points will be given for travel-related needs, long-time readers, creativity, flattery, and of course cash. You have one week from today and my decision is final.

Good Luck!

Enter your email for Belly Button Window updates:


I signed on to your list more than four years ago when I was contemplating a trip to Russia. Well I am still here and it's your fault. Still waiting for that beer you promised me.
My 6 meg of yahoo is sorely inadequate as traveling around this vast underdeveloped country my box often fills up because I can not always find some facility to check my mail. Part of which is filled with your postings and I would consider a 1 gig google as just compensation for that beer you promised me many years ago.
As a bonus I will enlighten you that 'the mall' is not in our national capitol. It is however in the same city.

"'the mall' is not in our national capitol. It is however in the same city."

Check your geography:

Sorry I didn't get back to you Wayan. I would have given you a Gmail invite for free. There's no way I could have taken your Santa Pinata after what you had to go through :)

You know, I'd seen this gmail thing come up in the news a while back, didn't think too much about it. Trust you to come along and make me realize how nice it would be to have an account!

Some days I feel like a damned old man at 35; other days I cheer up a bit thinking about getting out of the country and seeing the world - just got back from Mexico in fact but Tijuana doesn't really count in some ways. If gmail allows hotlinking so that random folk could see photos and whatnot that I posted well then it'd be perfect for my needs.

I've got a few miles to travel before I've seen as much of the world as you! But we should consider ourselves both very fortunate that we have the opportunity, and the character, to allow us to see the world with minds wide open. I wouldn't mind sharing my point of reference, if gmail makes that possible.

That, and I'll buy *you* a beer :^)

Read over the info on gmail a bit. No hotlinking like I might have thought but still seems like a great way to organize mail, even mail sent to yourself will be kept in a thread instead of scattered about. Pretty neat idea really....

I don't know if Gmail will change my life
I do know it will help my wife
To slice through spam like a knife
And reduce our marital strife

Long trips she takes far away
And often do I pray
She would not go and just stay
For without her, all is very gray

So I guess it's not for me, but for her
To make it easier for us to confer
Without phone calls which can slur
Please, a Gmail invite kind sir

Consider yourself flattered. If I were there in person, I might seek an appropriately corporate way to compliment you. For example, I might tell you how much I like your shoes.

But what I really have to offer is cold, hard, financial motivation. You see, I have recently received a commercial opportunity valued at up $4,000,000 from Mr. Frank “Bang” Alore at the Central Bank of Nigeria. An opportunity similar to your lottery win.

“Bang” has indicated that this opportunity is transferable, provided that I “execute a legal instrument to document the transfer and that such instrument vouches for the excellent character of the transferee.” Naturally, I don’t envision any problems with doing this in exchange for a G-Mail invitation.

I would expect that this opportunity will be of great assistance to you in maintaining your present level of financial stability over the long-term.

Yahoo Mail must have noticed that I posted here b/c now I have 100MB of free storage as of today.

100MB? Ha! I have Yahoo Plus, and they upgraded me to 2 Gig (2,000 MB).

I LOVE competition!

Hells yeah, I was going to put in a serious bid on that GMail account until Yahoo Plus made me twice as kool!

screw you guys, I'm going to France.

Well g-mail probably would be nice... if I could even log into my account. Instead, I always get this message:

"Server Error

Gmail is temporarily unavailable. Cross your fingers and try again in a few minutes. We're sorry for the inconvenience."

So far, for me, g-mail is like the Emperor's New Clothes. The emperor turned out to be naked.



You sure that's not operator error? My Gmail accout has and is working flawlessly. Maybe you need to use or try a diferent Internet connection.


Pick me, Pick me! I have been a loyal Wayan fan for years - even before the website tales began, back when stories were told face-to-face, person to person. I don't see mention of your UCF days, so I will add a few of those tales (complete with pictures) if you choose to invite me to the Gmail experience. I will warn that I have children and that my travel plans this year include the Miami Metro Zoo, Young at Art museum, and every park and playground in South Florida, but I will do my best to make you proud and tell only the most bizarre details of those adventures.

I would truly treasure an electronic vehicle that would allow me to keep my precious emails.

Finally, if my request has not enticed you, I am not above bribery...What's the asking price?

-Lisa Ph

Hey Wayan,

Hope things are going well. Thanks for putting all that work into your website. I do read your updates. Anyway, if you are still giving away the Gmail account, I could really use it.

I have about 5 email accounts and it's a real pain trying to check them all them time, especially when I'm travelling. I have to keep emptying my mail boxes otherwise they'll overfill and I won;t get any more of your updates.

So give it to me!



This contest is really bringing folks out of the woodwork! Still, if you're in need of a Gmail account, apply. I'm not judging entries till tomorrow (Sat) morning.

Why I Deserve an Invite

I don’t. I despise email. Your own happy messages are immediately deleted, of course after being printed out and processed into sanitary napkins for use in the Tashkent skin trade. As far as I’m concerned, email is for people who know they have nothing to say but are too cheap to drop a dime into a telephone.

Worse still, they expect me to actually respond to their insipid prose. And that’s exactly what I do. If some moron is audacious enough to write me some winning drivel, I retort with at least a single-spaced page of my own hideous insights. I am almost sure to include some social commentary and, if incensed enough, views on current political events. That shuts them up.

If I had one gig of storage on Google’s hallowed servers, I would fill it with my gigantic collection of donkey rape porn. That way, anyone sending me a message gets bounced off the ass of an ass.


A happy donkey owner

Ps. If you dare publish this in one of your lame “runner-up” categories, I’ll prove to everyone on your precious list that you’ve never been outside of Hoboken.

After reading each submission, and judging it on my many and secret factors, we have three winners! Yes, Google thinks I'm cool enough to give out three invites, not just one.

Drum roll please.....

Matthew, you have a Google invite in your inbox. Now go be a walrus77 on Gmail!

Lisa, you have a Google invite in your inbox. Now go be LisaPKD on Gmail!

Thomas, you now have a Google invite in your inbox. Now go be Thomas.Lee on Gmail!

Fine, I didn't want any dumb Gmail anyway! :^(

Hey so anyway I'm working on a separate project from the one we already discussed; I'll be sending it to you in the next week or two. Paka --- TC

Capitol = building. Capital = city. See why the Mall isn't in the Capitol, but is in the Capital?

you tomato I say red veggie!


I just got six more invites from Google, and if you still want one, post a decent reason why I should and I'll send ya one. about because I asked ya for one?

Or the fact that Gawd talkes to me on a regular basis.

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