Russia, August 24, 1998
A Koshka Konspiracy
In the fall, kittens overflow and Russians have a few ideas about it
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Last night, as I was walking up the stairs to my flat, a woman passed me
with a few kittens in her bag. When she saw me she looked down and sped out
of podyedz. Odd I thought, until I reached my floor. What did I see tumbling
down the stairs to me, but two kittens!
Through the cold, tired, hungry shell, past the mental barriers to caring and kindness, and over the objections of my heartless masculine side, the kittens called in their high soulful cries. Still, I reached down inside myself and found the iron will to shut the door on the two lost souls. It's tough life after all. It wasn't until I took off the coat and tie, the professional persona, that I was finally so tortured by my conscience that I opened my door to the koshka duo. They spent the night in deep fascination with all aspects of my dirty clothes hamper, but now they must find new homes. One of my housemates is allergic to cats, the other is allergic to responsibility, and I, like all men, am allergic to commitment. I can attest to their good behavior and good health. They played nicely with each other all night, even sleeping peacefully together. They do not have fleas (or they would still be in the podyedz), ear mites, or any visible signs of infection. They are quite healthy! Now I have to give the koshka duo away to one or two kind souls. If they stay with me any longer, they will turn bad, addicted to Camembert, Estonian sproti, Euro techno, and late night parties, unable to properly assimilate into respectable kohska kultura. I was finally able to give the kittens away, one at work and one to a girl I met on the street, after four days of trying. Yesterday I saw three more kittens on the landing, but I just stepped over them and went into my apartment, I learned my lesson. It must be birthing season now, everyone I know is trying to pawn off kittens or puppies! My friend, Maria, sent me this recipe that she happened to have for a good kitten stew in case I am stuck with kittens again. The recipe originally comes from a Dutch stand-up comedian, and is a variation on that for 'coq-au-vin', and actually quite easy, so even you can prepare a good kitten stew!
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