The Belly Button Window Details

About Belly Button Window

The Semi-Regular Newsletter

Travels in Russia

KLM Rocks Across Europe!
Santa Claus in Moscow
Television Is a Time Suck
The Reality of Irrelevance
Salute Mayor Luzhkov
Impeachment Happens
I Am Not The Only One...
I'm Back! Did Ya Miss Me?
Chechnya Burning
Weddings in Winter
The Jews Are Here!
Gailyn Goes to Town
Is There a Central Bank?
Santa Barbara is Real
Nick's Thanksgiving in Russia
Den' Rozhdeniya = Birthdays
Those Crazy Expats
It's Just a Few Drops of Vodka...
Elections Are Always Rigged
The Blind Leading the Blind
Good Russian Grooms
You Say 'Boris Berezovskiy' Fast
Too Cold to Care!
Russian Oil Towns
Sneaky Siberian Tigers
Which Way is St Peterburg?
Where am I again? Oh, yeah...
I Love Me Some Vodka
Hunger Comes to Us All
Why Don't They Just Learn English?!
Post-Crisis, Life Goes On
Is Yeltsin 'The Man'?
Murmansk - Brrrr!
Taganka Hides Her Secrects
These are Communists
It's a Power Vaccum
The Commies are Back
Propaganda is Good for You
You Better Buy Russian!
Sex Ed Soviet Style
Party over, oops outta time!
Russian Healthcare in Moscow
What Russian Financial Crisis?
YE Prices in Russia
The Hungry Duck
Russian Caviar Mafia
Magical Mushrooms
Shhhh! We're Bear Hunting
Soviet Street Scams
Bez Dollarov
A Koshka Konspiracy
On The Dacha
The Banking Implosion
Surviving Army Life
Shashleek is Steak on Steroids
Dacha Thinking
Beach Weekend
Dos Vedanya
Hello from Vladivostok
Equality Means Only She Works
Jogging is an Extreme Sport
Russians Have Reunions Too
My Folks in Massive Moscow
Better than Fireworks
Miners Are Real Men
The Russian Mafia is the Roof
No One Smiles in the CIS
One Year Anniversary
Russian Brides Rock
Laura is My St Pete Connection
Change is in the Wind
Chuck Norris' Beverly Hills Casino
The Expat Woman's Predicament
Street Food is Yummy!
Spring Flowers Make June Leavers
The Provinces Are Provincial
Ever Take an Elektrichka?
The English Invasion
Nuttin Like New Money
Rules Are Made to Break
All Black is Russian Fashion
Easter Memories = Easter Dinner
Politics, Russian Style
Theresa Tries to Russify
I Go to Gay Clubs Worldwide
I Hide on Women's Day
New & Shiny: Nizhny Novgorod
Psst! Wanna job in Moscow?
Fili Park Has All the Bootlegs
Web Page Reactions
Take a Break at Dom Odaha
Expat Living in Moscow is Swank
Why Are You Remonting?
They Look Like Telephones...
In Need of a Decent Hairstylist
Smashing Bottles in Red Square


Russia, October 26, 1998

It's a Gosorg Halloween

If you are around, and you are down, you are at the GOSORG HALLOWEEN BLOWOUT

Its Piva Time!
I brought the Baltika 9!
Last Saturday, North Americans (Canadians take note), all over the globe celebrated a pagan ritual that has ingrained itself in our modern culture: Halloween Night. In America, the kids (and a few adults) dressed up in costumes and went door to door in their towns, saying 'trick or treat'. If given treats (candy) the kids were happy and wander on, if they get nothing, then the more deviant kids played a trick on the house, like covering it with toilet paper (not I, of course).

As adults, we still like the costume idea, but we weren't about to trudge for miles in chaffing costumes, instead we threw wild parties (Halloween is now third, after New Years and Superbowl Sunday), and got crazy drunk. And, as with other aspects of our culture, like McDonalds, consumerism, and broom ball, we brought Halloween with us to Russia.

So, if you wanted to see how stupid-crazy Westerners could get, you should have joined us at the Big Bash below. The Russians who showed up, tried really hard, but I don't think they quite got the idea. Not enough practice drinking in rubber masks, keeping the mummy from loosing his gauze, or making out with a witch. I got creative, and went as a boxed up expat (literally, I wore a shipping box) being sent home. Locals didn't get it, but the foreigners (that are left) howled with laughter.

[Note: I just heard that the bar that hosted a Toga Party I went to two weeks ago, was given an official protest by the Moscow Government. Seems 20% of the neighborhood signed a petition they sent to the mayor that said the party was a Satanic Ritual filled with obscene behavior, including fornication with farm animal! These Russians gotta learn how to part outside their kitchens!]


Over the past four years GOSORG has provided hands-down the best Halloween entertainment in Moscow via its choice locations, original decorations, excellent live music, top-notch DJ's, and most of all access to an endless pool of liquor and beer for a mere $10 cover. Such an opportunity for blatant barbarism can not be passed up, especially at a time when life in Moscow is being flushed slow motion down the toilet.

Don't miss it. We know where you live.

Saturday, October 31, 1998, 9 p.m.
Bolshoi Gnezdnikovski Pereulok 10
(first street to right after you cross the Bulvar as you drive down Tverskaya towards Kremlin)
entrance: $10 or ruble equivalent
Absolutely Free all-you-can-drink all night long
costume required
featuring: SPITFIRE

For this year's fest, we've used the following recipe:


For the Monster, you will need:
7 oligarchs, bankrupt
1 dead economy, whole
1 tablespoon banking system
300 tons currency, freshly printed
2 chunks, Yeltsin's liver

For the Mash, prepare:
1 Art Nouveau theater, ghoulish, run-down, centrally located
500 liters vodka
1000 liters mixed fruit juice
2000 beers
6000 watts sound
1 excellent DJ
1 generous portion of SPITFIRE, the St. Pete Ska sensation
$283.34 worth of cheezy halloween decorations from WalMart
1000 guests

Sift the banking system and freshly printed currency and set aside. In a blender, combine the oligarchs and Yeltsin's liver, and pour this over the dead economy. Lift this blend under the banking system and currency, taking care to remove any traces of foreign investment that may have fallen into the mix. Put whole mess on the back burner.

Take the theater and fill it with the cheezy halloween decorations. Set up the sound and turn it to 11. Take the alcohol and dump it into arriving guests. Have DJ turn up the music again and bring out Spitfire. Shake wildly.

Makes: No Sense

Serves: Everyone

Enter your email for Belly Button Window updates: